ABOUT ME

Think of an instance where a friend asks you for first impressions. In my case people would often say that they find me very intimidating. But then, after camaraderie they would come to a conclusion that I might be the funniest person they've met or that there's never an idle moment whenever they're with me. This has been going on for as long as I can remember, I tried my best to look approachable to others but then I just gave up and in effect I never bother to ask people for first impressions.

But truth be told I only see myself as a simple woman, yet with a very complex mind and titanic goals. I tend to observe and analyze everything. Yet, I'm only average when it comes to book smart, on the other hand people would say that they find me as one who is full of wit and clever. I know I'm not the most attractive one, but whenever people sees through me- as someone who is intelligent- is flattering enough. 

Like any other human being I have my own set of standards. Don't get me wrong because a certain someone said that we should not try to fit in to a standard because- You are the standard- and I strongly agree. Anyways, I endear being different. I always want to be seen as independent and unique. If you have it, then I don't want it. My only goal in life is to be genuinely happy and nothing more. I hate being typical. I want to be unpredictable. I'm a realist and I can be really practical. I love being spontaneous. I savor adventures. I like trying dangerous experience. I play soccer/football. I've been lost in this world for 18 years. I'm very much obsessed with clouds, I don't know why but I've always dream of waking up surrounded with clouds. Oh, and I enjoy the rain so much I'd give anything for cold/rainy weather. I love driving and I always dream of having nice cars, Bentley and Lambos to be specific- well who doesn't? Other than Travelling; Concerts is my life. I love being in high places ; there's nothing greater than seeing the world from above. I enjoy horror-gore flicks. I'm always straightforward. I always have trouble sleeping. I'm more of a night person, but I love sunrise. I have a wide range of music taste.

Music is my pleasure. I've always love The Beatles since I was a little kid. I also enjoy modelling. I'm good at playing the guitar and I can play the piano (but not much on the singing side). I have OCD and I always like things in order. My anxiety is worse. I get a thrill out of helicopter rides and roller coasters. I want to capture every moment in life because memories are dearest to me. Sushi, pizza, burger, frapps, steak and desserts are my favorite. I relish for my existence to be appreciated. I like editing films. Someday Hollywood will produce a movie based on my International best-selling published novel (wishing). God is my everything. I revel in being alone in cafes with my laptop. I'm very fond of surprises. I like being deep in abstract sense. I'd rather go with weird than ordinary. Binge watching is my best friend. You might only see me wearing black, white, maroon and nude. I enjoy snapchatting and vlogging. 

I never ran out of ideas. I adore photography, especially street-photog  because there's an unexplained feeling I get whenever I capture the happiness of the people through my camera lens. I might look serious but I always tend to turn everything into a joke. I love reading books because it makes me feel like living another reality but not as much as I love the feeling of being sucked in the world of video games. I'm really good at it and yes, I'd say gaming is one of my guilty pleasures. I seldom tell anyone about this. Anyways, I've always wanted to step out of the planet and wander around the universe and discover the wonders of the galaxies. But it's inhumanly impossible. Nevertheless, I can always convey with travelling around the world and I'd love to discover the fascination of the world first. If I could drop everything and leave everyone I know now and disappear to travel then I would. 

Like I've said, I have massive goals in life but right now I feel stuck. It seems like I don't belong in this reality where I exist. I feel like a prisoner in my own reality. I never tell anyone about my plans. People can be mean to play the role of the devil and secretly put you down. Motto in life? TRUST NO ONE. By all means I'm not suggesting for anyone to be alone because of trust issues. In fact this is the one thing I hate most about me. I never liked being dependent to others. My mentality is stuck with "if there's a chance you can do EVERYTHING then do it." I'm at unease whenever I haven't got the job done or if it seems imperfect. I would say; do your best whenever doing something, if not don't even do it at all. Don't get me wrong, the product of my attitude has always caused great effects and smiles on peoples face. I hate disappointing people that's why I always commit to their expectations even if causes me stress and unleash my inner perfectionist-slash-control-freak. 

In reference to being dominant-the second thing I hate most about myself is I dislike not getting what I want. I go through a great extent only to achieve what I want -even if it cause distress to others. I know it can be both an advantage and disadvantage in different terms. But I'm not proud of it because sometimes it makes me feel like a brat. 
Lastly, I find it really hard to open up to people. People find it hard to get to know the real me. Like for an occurrence a friend would say "You know every detail in my life, yet I know so little about you." It's not new to me whenever they'd accuse me of being great in hiding my thoughts and feelings. But sometimes it really bothers me that I always keep to myself. I always resort to joking or laughing to avoid the topic. I always come off like I don't care, but it's only because I choose to pretend to be. 
Oh and I can be very impulsive and regret my decisions in the end. 

I'm proud to say that I'm very much blessed with friends. When it comes to messing with me I'd say that I WILL play your game and be 5 steps ahead of you. JUST DON'T. But tbh, I seldom have enemies because I hate causing bad attention- and once I hear that you're bad news, I won't even waste my time looking at you. Like I said, I treasure my friends and if you mess with them then I will cut you (just kidding). Anyways, I'm more of a listener. I won't talk about myself unless you ask. 
What else? Ah, I major in Bachelor of Art in Communication Arts and Media studies. Don't even start with "you won't achieve anything out of it". You will be surprised with our capabilities. I'm lucky to have study what I love and I'm proud of it. And like any normal student; school stresses the hell out of me. The only thing that recovers my sanity is my bed, my laptop and food. I'm pretty much low-maintenance. I ALWAYS go out without combing my hair. Whenever I go out shopping with friends, you'd find me sitting in the corner while the others look around. I'm always on my phone. Tbh, I think I can't live without it. 

I think this has passed longer than I've expected. I only included facts about me that I'm comfortable sharing in public. Other than that, you need to get to know me to find out. Tbh, I don't even think anyone would take the interest to read the whole 'about me' page. I'll just leave it here just for the sake of having one. But if you did reach the end.. tell me? Just kidding, just tell me so I can say thanks, maybe? It makes me really happy. Pretty much that's it. You'd get the idea. I'm complicated and not normal. I don't know if this would change your opinion on me. All I know is at the end of the day; people will see you as they want to see you. There is no point in trying. All you have to do is love yourself while being kind to others. That's one thing you'll never regret. Ever.